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Self Care And Self Love - Whats The Difference?

When healing from narcissistic abuse there can be a lack of self-care and self-love, so focusing on self-care can be a great start.

What is self care?

Self care includes making sure you eat well, get enough sleep, exercise regularly, spend time out in nature, and even stuff like getting a regular massage.

You need both

Self care is really beneficial, but if you are looking to heal from narcissistic abuse, you need self-care AND self-love.

Do not confuse self care with self love

A life with self-care looks pretty good from the outside. But the root of the problem isn’t on the outside, the root of the problem is inside. Self-care, although it appears to be healthy, can become a distraction that stops us being present with our feelings.

What is Self Love?

Self love is being there for yourself, emotionally supporting yourself, being present and still with whatever is going on inside of you, and not judging it, or judging you.

So whats the difference?

Self-love can look different to self-care. It can look like cancelling an invitation to be with yourself, or going to an exercise class but committing to coming back to your journal or yourself after to reconnect with your feelings. It can look boring! Or it can look like doing nothing at all.

Self Love - where to start?

For many people the concept of self-love is foreign, they don’t know where to start. Sometimes the easiest way is to admit to yourself you don’t know where to start. Put your hand on your heart and say to yourself “I don’t know how to love myself, but I am willing to learn how” and take a deep breath, or do something similar that feels more ‘you’.

Its all about intention

I like to think of self-love in terms of the intentions behind our actions. Acts of self-care can come from self-love but it’s all about the meaning behind them. Self-love is however you can best support yourself in the moment. Being present with yourself, until you are ready to be present with others, is one of the most valuable things you could ever do.

Sending hugs and positivities, Marie-Claire x


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